Bunk Beds and the slip through portal theory

Found this online and it's perfect for this blog's description. 

We've all seen them on AMFV, or You Tube of bunk beds breaking when someone gets on them - scary.  I'm just hoping those were cheaply made and or seriously old for that to happen.  But there is also a hidden danger in Bunks that most parents don't care to find out or don't know that it even exists.  Openings.  Spaces.  The portholes of the bunks beyond.  Bad rendition of a kids movie line.  

Our Standard line - $395 as shown

There are codes that bunk manufacturers have to abide by.  There is a magic number that the opening space can not be any wider than or less then.  There are also magic numbers per square inch for weight.  I won't talk about those because I don't build anything out of 3/4" press board covered in veneer.  Seriously, no one should ever buy a bunk that is made of wood that is less than in inch in thickness anyway - unless it's made out of Brazilian or Purple Heart Mahogany and if you can afford that, you might as well purchase that very big diamond or 300" TV for yourself.  

Custom made (Finish and build)

Our twin/full mission style $800.00 as shown

On to those numbers.  I am not telling you.  But I can say this.  The codes are worse to read than any tax instructional booklet from the IRS.  The opening space can't be any more than this but has to be less than this and no wider than this unless it is smaller than this.  (paraphrasing)  After having it translated into a basic and common language most people can understand - we have been building our bunks the same way since the get go.  The rule of thumb is this.  The spacing should not be big enough to get a normal childs head through - this also means a leg.  If the space can fit such an appendage - there better be enough room to get a normal childs entire body through.  Most people use the normal measurements based on their own child.  We go smaller - based on a toddler.  The government provides the common sense measurements (which sometimes don't make any sense) and are based on things that have happened.  That is why there are so many recalls on children's furniture.  Anything and everything eventually does happen and therefore they change things up a little to prevent it again.  For example guard rails.  You should never ever buy a bunk that doesn't have them.  They are the probably the first thing the government made mandatory.  They are there to prevent whomever is sleeping on top from rolling out of bed while sleeping.  No amount of guard rails can prevent anyone from falling off a bunk if they are using the top bunk as a freebasing jumping platform, or as a trampoline or if the child decides that he or she can swing on the ceiling fan blades.  Why would you have a ceiling fan so close the top bunk anyway - that's an ER visit waiting to happen!!!!  Think of helicopter rotors slashing along the forehead.  This is also why the government says no one under the age of 5 should sleep on top. Some kids don't think of danger.    As a mom myself, I know that one of my kids didn't know what danger was till much later.  Every child is different though and so the government chose the magic number of 5 years old for top bunk usage.  Just because it says 5, you should know your own child well enough to know if it will work.  This is another reason why I refuse to build toddler bunk beds.  No matter how much of an angel your child is, anything and everything usually does happen.  That and Toddler bunks are very top heavy, narrow and if you have one..please I beg you to anchor it to the wall. 

Plank loft with two desks and single frame bed.
Two rooms of Furniture in this one ensemble.  

I have seen some local builders advertising on Craigslist in many different states that charge around the same as we do and what they build is A).  Non compliant and B).  An accident waiting to happen and C). I wouldn't put my Chihuahua on the top bunk.   Here is a good rule of thumb that is based on common sense when shopping for a bunk bed for your kids.  If YOU (not your kid) can comfortably climb up, flop into bed and you feel confident - buy it.  If you are slightly worried it can't hold your weight - don't buy it.  All bunks and lofts have a little bit of wobble.  If the frame wobbles more than 1/4 inch or give either way - walk away.  Look at the weight limits on store bought bunks.  Most of them say 160 lbs on the top bunk.  How much does your child weigh?  How much does your childs mattress weigh?  How much does the flat support weigh? Subtract all of that from 160lbs and that is how much you can allow your child to grow before you have to purchase a whole new bed.  

The bolts and or screws;  This is what pisses me off the most.  I guess the government is waiting for some sort of bunk bed Apocalypse.  If you have a bunk that is held together with common screws - burn it.  Take it down and burn it.  If you have a bunk that is held together with thicker screws that are angled in and hidden (Pocket's)- burn those.  If you have  a bunk that is held together by bolted ratchet system that is on the inside of the bed rail, burn those - although all of these are allowed, they are all very dangerous.  You need to have access to your fastenings because over time they will need to be tightened.  If you see a bunk that is held together with the old fashioned hook and eye system....seriously burn that one too. Are you going to trust something 6 foot in the air to hold up you up if the only thing holding you up are a few hooks?  Why would you want your child up there?  Would you trust yourself hanging from a ceiling on a swing with those hooks or screws or hidden pocket screws.  I know I wouldn't.

A lot of people think that to have a very sturdy and well built bunk that it has to made out of huge dimensional pieces of wood and very expensive - this is not true.   It can be I suppose if you are going for that look and like to waste money.  But a good quality affordable and sturdy bunk bed can be made to look sleek, rustic, modern and can be very beautiful.  There are tons of us woodworkers that do great jobs in making these - we take the time to learn and figure out the compliance codes -they we make them to code.   Then there are tons of wood workers that want to make money and don't think about how the build will be in a few months of use - so you might as well have paid for firewood.  Below are some great examples of bunks that are not compliant.  I pulled these off of the internet - can you point out how they are not compliant - notice some of them are all over the internet (viral) because they look great - but sadly, in my experience would end up being death traps or at least contribute to a good concussion and or broken bones.

No Guard Rails or ladder system and top heavy. (It will tip).
Accident waiting to happen on this one.  

No enough guard rails - one post? Wow!
Whats the weight limit on this one I wonder?

No Guard Rails (looks great) - 2 posts holding it up
wonder the weight limit on this one too.

No Guard rails - wood is too thin and I bet
this bed is not sturdy at all.  

Looks great - no guard rails and ladder system
is waiting to be dove off of. 

My Love Affair - wood, customers, stain and all things creative.

Rockling 

I have quite a few customers that comment that they can tell how much I love my job.  I guess my face glows when they meet me or they can hear it over the phone.  I am not sure how they can tell. I love to build.  I love to be creative and the best ego boost that anyone can have is the head nod, look of amazement and the inflection of awe in my customers voices when I show them a technique right in front of them.

Tigerwood finish

I especially like it when a customer brings in a sample of something that I have to match that is not a normal color (veneer) and right then and there I do up a sample that is very close.  Sometimes the customers look scared when I pull out weird colors (a beige for example when I am trying to match something that is an olive green).  I have worked with stains for so long, I know how they behave when mixed or smudged with each other.

Reclaimed barnwood finish

Driftwood Finish

I also have to say that some of my customers trust me enough to allow me 100% creative freedom. They give me an idea of a color they are wanting and a style and as one customer put it "Do your magic and surprise me!".   I love those customers.  It's almost like a grab bag, Backwood Beds style.  They know they are getting  bed, but they trust me enough to design it and color it as I see fit.  I ask about heights, dimensions, rustic or modern etc - get those and then I have a long think on what it will be.  Then I sketch, build and do the finish.  Sometimes these beds are so good, they become part of our line.  (Mondo, Olympian & Shire)

Crown

Crown

I have designed a simple little platform bed that utilizes welded  hairpin type legs at the foot.  Since we purchase all of our material locally, we found a gentleman that welds them for us.  The result of the bed are amazing.  We have not launched the design officially on our site, but did post it to instagram.   So far - the feedback and the few orders are a sign that the bed will do very well in our line. One of my older customers helped to name it - the Crown. 

 I have also designed a bed specially for kids - I haven't built the prototype yet - but I know that this bed is going to be a huge hit.  Let just say when you see it, you will know someone (if not yourself) that will want it.  Adult or child, it will be as cute as can be.  As well as 100% Eco-friendly.  This is the bed that I am going to use my home-made milk paints with.

All in all, no matter how many hours I put in, at home on the PC or at the shop and the fact that I rarely have any down time.  I love what I do.  I don't look it as work and even in the evenings while home with the family - I am always researching or thinking of something that I could do, want to do or at least try.  I have heard "Turn it off" quite a few times from my kids and husband. They are asking me to turn off my design switch.  It really is not that easy.  Sometimes I wish I could turn it off so I could just be.  I have a hard time with staying idle and just being.  Yeh, no, I can't do that.

Mondo

Please note that I only use new wood.  I don't use reclaimed wood on anything.  I make it look that way.  All of my techniques are a multi-step process using, stain, paint, waxes and different odd tools to get these looks.

Espresso - good for the soul, not good for wood -well not the kind you are used to anyway.

http://www.target.com/p/staten-furniture-collection/-/A-13717178#prodSlot=medium_1_1

A great example of the Espresso that apparently is all the rage and very popular.  But this is not real wood.  It is a Veneer.

Veneer;

1. A thin surface layer, as of finely grained wood, glued to a base of inferior material.
2. Any of the thin layers glued together to make plywood.
3. A decorative facing, as of brick.
4. A deceptive, superficial show; a façade: a veneer of friendliness.

 Veneer is the equivalent of a Formica or laminate counter surface, only thinner,  much thinner.  Imagine Paper Mache and that little crafty session you had with your kids and the balloon - that is exactly what veneer is.  Only used with larger pieces, stronger glue and harmful chemical hardeners.


Can you make real wood look like the Espresso veneer?  Yes, sort of.

There is more involved than one coat of stain.   It takes a a few different colors and a simple little wire brush.  A dark brown is put on first, let that dry and then an even darker brown or a brown/black is put on over the dry 1st coat.  While the 2nd coat is wet, you brush it down with the wire brush.  The result is very very similar to the veneer.  You have to have a steady hand for brush strokes or it will end up looking like Edvard Munch's The Scream - which might be cool in of self. Very Artsy.

Basically you can achieve many different types of looks with this technique - like the little engraving art kits we buy our kids.  Numerous combinations, numerous design ideas  - just let your imagination go wild.

Just take a very dark opaque stain (waterstain's work best) and go over what you did on the wood and then you can brush, scratch, scrape, or engrave what you want and the bottom color rises to the surface really well. Make sure you do small areas first until you are sure to of the drying time for that second coat.  Nothing like doing the entire table top and by the time you make it to the last corner - it's already dry.  On that note, some of the water-stains dry really fast.  Basically it is the equivalent of tempera paints for kids, only for wood.  So seriously keep that in mind when using this technique. 

This is a sample that I have done for a few customers on my version of the infamous Espresso Veneer.  I aptly call this  - Espresso, real Espresso.  And why shouldn't I, I drink enough of the get up and giddy go nectar in fact I am craving a Vietnamese coffee at the moment.  I think I'll make one.   

The (Superficial) Namedropping Game - You're Such a Poser!

Namedropping is a common practice in many different fields.  There is no doubt that it can benefit the products sales, designers pocket and ultimately the bottom line. When it comes to a small business however, I personally feel it makes that brand or that company look very desperate for recognition for something that may not be there. Making you look better than you are, sort of.

Name-dropping is defined as –

The studied but seemingly casual mention

 of prominent persons as associates done to impress others - Merriam Webster

Me for example - I do not boast, brag or namedrop.  Regardless of just how "big" the person is. Trust me, living and working the Los Angeles area, I have made beds for small time and big time actors, musicians, comedians, designers and directors all the way up to the "oober goober" award winning celebrities.  I have met each and every one of them. I have been in their homes.  I have made beds for their kids.  I have let their kids help build the bed when we deliver it.  (The kids really like pulling the trigger on the drill). These customers invited me into their homes and guess what, they like to live a normal life and honestly, they REALLY are down to earth.   Ironically - I just tooted my own horn in this paragraph, didn't I. Oops, my bad.

Poser is explained as - 

is one who poses or habitually pretends to be something they are not. 

Maybe it is my own personal code that I have, I am not sure.  Maybe it is because I was raised by a "celebrity of sorts" and understood real fast, those friends that wanted to be my friend for notoriety and those that were real friends.  Trust me, when you are 13 and think you are all that, your world comes crashing down when you realize the only reason you were invited to a party was to please your parents.  This does no do good for the confidence or for your soul at all.   But after salvaging what self respect that I had - I learned and vowed that I wouldn't do the same thing to others - no matter my gain from it.  It's using people. It is wrong and I personally feel it makes you look, simply put, like a pompous ass.

My little don't namedrop policy - has actually gained me more business.  Seriously, I would rather have a customer come to me because I was recommended to them (within their own little circle) than have someone come to me to be able to purchase exactly what so and so has in their bedroom - that's just creepy.  All my customers, when I first talk to them are treated the same - I have no idea who this person is.  Sometimes the emails don't even ring a bell - but when I meet them, each and every customer (oober goober or your local janitor) gets the same handshake and same "it's a pleasure to meet you, where are we bringing your bed?".  It is an unspoken code between my customers and myself - I don't know who they are (and sometimes I do) and they know I won't say anything at all to other people or tag them in on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook with pics of the beds. That's just rude and presumptuous - if they want to tag me in to their own tweets and posts, though - I welcome that.  But I will never ask for, or expect it.

What I find entertaining - is that some of my pictures on my website are from the "celebrities" houses.  Like Andy Kaufman, sometimes I am the only one in on a joke.  But hey - I laugh.  Yes that was a namedropping line, but since the late great Mr. Kaufman is supposedly dead, and i was referencing his comedic philosophy - it in no way enhances my beds.  No, I have not met him or sold anything to him.  He is supposedly dead.  That would be creepy if I had and even if I did, I wouldn't tell.

I will say this though - If I ever meet James Hetfield from Metallica or Brian Urlacher, I don't think I would be calm and composed.  All bets are off.  I really think i would revert back to my teen age years and be freakishly excited and scary looking - like my daughter is with her band fav's. (That is a whole other blog post in the making and waiting to be written, "dealing with a teenage girl and her stalking tendencies"). I wouldn't mean to cause them harm, but my big bear hug may be misinterpreted as a tackle.  Urlacher would be ok with that I think, I hope.

I just had to copy and paste this for all of us Mom's - Amazing how +Lisa-Jo Baker can put into words the power of a mom.  From working hard to being gentle and caring to being that "Supermom" we all have in us.  This blog post speaks to me, even though my kids are teenagers.  Not only do I remember holding little hands - I now help and guide my daughters to be the best of who they are.   Enjoy reading and have a tissue or two near by. 

16 JAN 2014

A love letter: To all the tired mamas everywhere

in CHEERING FOR YOU, MOTHERHOOD, ORDINARY GLORY

Here’s the thing, I love you.

I do.

I love how you don’t even have to open your eyes to roll over in bed and open the blanket to that kid who has bad dreams.

I love how you worry about Kindergarten homework and teach yourself calculus all over again to keep up with your teen. I love how you swing babies up onto hips and prop them on check out counters or grocery carts or changing tables in desperately-too-small bathroom stalls.

I love how you balance your bags and that car seat carrier, the extra bottle, someone’s baseball helmet, the picnic blanket and still remember to pack the one lovie no one can live without.

I love how you see magic in passing fire trucks and roll down the windows so everyone can wave at the train crossing.

I love how planning a first visit from the tooth fairy keeps you up at night and involves scraping glitter off old Christmas ornaments or how by tooth number 45 you still manage to finagle some mystery into the quarter that showed up even if it was two days late.

I love how you can keep up a conversation with a friend while simultaneously entertaining two toddlers. How you can pour pretend tea party tea into tiny porcelain cups while pouring out your heart and plans for next year and that farm house you just moved into. I love that you don’t even notice that Winnie the Pooh is singing in the background because you’re so focused on listening to another mama.

I love how you wear macaroni necklaces with the sparkly earrings your husband gave you on your 15th anniversary.

I love how your cubicle at work is decorated with frames made from popsicle sticks and faces grinning out at you alongside the 5 goals your team has committed to this quarter.

I love how your car plays equal selections of The Wiggles and The Beatles and you all know all the words to both.

I love how you know who likes the red bowl and who likes the blue bowl and I love that you care about that difference.

I love how even when you’re so tired that you’ve forgotten your bangs are clipped backwards with a Dora bobby pin, you still pause in the door way to watch them sleep.

I love that you can tell who snores and who snuffles and who will need water at almost midnight exactly every single night.

I love that you know the names of all the super heroes and what each of their super powers is.

I love that you play princess dress up in your wedding dress and a tiny Tinkerbell wand.

I love that you pause to kiss pint-size princes.

I love that you understand how to score an in-home wrestling match and that you aren’t afraid to climb into the thick of it. I love that you’re undefeated.

I love that you make late night ice cream runs and early morning waffles covered in everything unhealthy under the sun.

I love that you say yes and I love even more the strength you have to say, no.

I love that in the back of your closet you’re still holding onto one or two teeny tiny memories that your waist has of a time before you had kids.

I love that today you’re wearing their high school sweat shirt instead.

I love that you laugh. I hope you know you are always still loved when you cry.

I love that you keep getting up to the same routine every day and somehow manage to make it a different memory by each night.

I love that you fold laundry while forgetting to change the Disney channel.

I love that you research questions like “How to get Desitin off the carpet” or “How bats navigate” or “What to feed a baby bird.”

I love that you wake up at night wondering how you could possibly love them more?

I love that you don’t want them to change and that you celebrate each new milestone they arrive at anyway.

I love that you’ve lost the ability to be embarrassed and have embraced the destiny of the unexpected.

I love that you now live in a house instead of a museum, that you have a rating system for the pain of stepping on Legos and still fight the good fight to get them to put the toilet seat down.

I love that you consider mac ‘n cheese a food group.

I love that you will protect these children even from yourself if you have to.

I love that you are undaunted, immovable and unafraid. Even on the days you are terrified.

I love that you give brave a face. I love that compassion aches out of you. I love that you wear empathy along with the lip gloss she applied. I love that you sing off key because they love your voice and that your body is built for the all out, full out, art of the monkey hug.

I love that when you feel empty and desperate and spent, you still take one more step.

Even if it’s just to hide in the bathroom and wait out the riot of emotions in your head.

I love that you let them lick the beaters and the pot and the pan and every last crumb from the counter.

I love that you remember to dance in the rain.

Maybe not every day.

Maybe not today.

But tomorrow. Yes.

Definitely tomorrow.


Lisa-Jo's blog can be found here;  http://lisajobaker.com/