Bunk Beds and the slip through portal theory

Found this online and it's perfect for this blog's description. 

We've all seen them on AMFV, or You Tube of bunk beds breaking when someone gets on them - scary.  I'm just hoping those were cheaply made and or seriously old for that to happen.  But there is also a hidden danger in Bunks that most parents don't care to find out or don't know that it even exists.  Openings.  Spaces.  The portholes of the bunks beyond.  Bad rendition of a kids movie line.  

Our Standard line - $395 as shown

There are codes that bunk manufacturers have to abide by.  There is a magic number that the opening space can not be any wider than or less then.  There are also magic numbers per square inch for weight.  I won't talk about those because I don't build anything out of 3/4" press board covered in veneer.  Seriously, no one should ever buy a bunk that is made of wood that is less than in inch in thickness anyway - unless it's made out of Brazilian or Purple Heart Mahogany and if you can afford that, you might as well purchase that very big diamond or 300" TV for yourself.  

Custom made (Finish and build)

Our twin/full mission style $800.00 as shown

On to those numbers.  I am not telling you.  But I can say this.  The codes are worse to read than any tax instructional booklet from the IRS.  The opening space can't be any more than this but has to be less than this and no wider than this unless it is smaller than this.  (paraphrasing)  After having it translated into a basic and common language most people can understand - we have been building our bunks the same way since the get go.  The rule of thumb is this.  The spacing should not be big enough to get a normal childs head through - this also means a leg.  If the space can fit such an appendage - there better be enough room to get a normal childs entire body through.  Most people use the normal measurements based on their own child.  We go smaller - based on a toddler.  The government provides the common sense measurements (which sometimes don't make any sense) and are based on things that have happened.  That is why there are so many recalls on children's furniture.  Anything and everything eventually does happen and therefore they change things up a little to prevent it again.  For example guard rails.  You should never ever buy a bunk that doesn't have them.  They are the probably the first thing the government made mandatory.  They are there to prevent whomever is sleeping on top from rolling out of bed while sleeping.  No amount of guard rails can prevent anyone from falling off a bunk if they are using the top bunk as a freebasing jumping platform, or as a trampoline or if the child decides that he or she can swing on the ceiling fan blades.  Why would you have a ceiling fan so close the top bunk anyway - that's an ER visit waiting to happen!!!!  Think of helicopter rotors slashing along the forehead.  This is also why the government says no one under the age of 5 should sleep on top. Some kids don't think of danger.    As a mom myself, I know that one of my kids didn't know what danger was till much later.  Every child is different though and so the government chose the magic number of 5 years old for top bunk usage.  Just because it says 5, you should know your own child well enough to know if it will work.  This is another reason why I refuse to build toddler bunk beds.  No matter how much of an angel your child is, anything and everything usually does happen.  That and Toddler bunks are very top heavy, narrow and if you have one..please I beg you to anchor it to the wall. 

Plank loft with two desks and single frame bed.
Two rooms of Furniture in this one ensemble.  

I have seen some local builders advertising on Craigslist in many different states that charge around the same as we do and what they build is A).  Non compliant and B).  An accident waiting to happen and C). I wouldn't put my Chihuahua on the top bunk.   Here is a good rule of thumb that is based on common sense when shopping for a bunk bed for your kids.  If YOU (not your kid) can comfortably climb up, flop into bed and you feel confident - buy it.  If you are slightly worried it can't hold your weight - don't buy it.  All bunks and lofts have a little bit of wobble.  If the frame wobbles more than 1/4 inch or give either way - walk away.  Look at the weight limits on store bought bunks.  Most of them say 160 lbs on the top bunk.  How much does your child weigh?  How much does your childs mattress weigh?  How much does the flat support weigh? Subtract all of that from 160lbs and that is how much you can allow your child to grow before you have to purchase a whole new bed.  

The bolts and or screws;  This is what pisses me off the most.  I guess the government is waiting for some sort of bunk bed Apocalypse.  If you have a bunk that is held together with common screws - burn it.  Take it down and burn it.  If you have a bunk that is held together with thicker screws that are angled in and hidden (Pocket's)- burn those.  If you have  a bunk that is held together by bolted ratchet system that is on the inside of the bed rail, burn those - although all of these are allowed, they are all very dangerous.  You need to have access to your fastenings because over time they will need to be tightened.  If you see a bunk that is held together with the old fashioned hook and eye system....seriously burn that one too. Are you going to trust something 6 foot in the air to hold up you up if the only thing holding you up are a few hooks?  Why would you want your child up there?  Would you trust yourself hanging from a ceiling on a swing with those hooks or screws or hidden pocket screws.  I know I wouldn't.

A lot of people think that to have a very sturdy and well built bunk that it has to made out of huge dimensional pieces of wood and very expensive - this is not true.   It can be I suppose if you are going for that look and like to waste money.  But a good quality affordable and sturdy bunk bed can be made to look sleek, rustic, modern and can be very beautiful.  There are tons of us woodworkers that do great jobs in making these - we take the time to learn and figure out the compliance codes -they we make them to code.   Then there are tons of wood workers that want to make money and don't think about how the build will be in a few months of use - so you might as well have paid for firewood.  Below are some great examples of bunks that are not compliant.  I pulled these off of the internet - can you point out how they are not compliant - notice some of them are all over the internet (viral) because they look great - but sadly, in my experience would end up being death traps or at least contribute to a good concussion and or broken bones.

No Guard Rails or ladder system and top heavy. (It will tip).
Accident waiting to happen on this one.  

No enough guard rails - one post? Wow!
Whats the weight limit on this one I wonder?

No Guard Rails (looks great) - 2 posts holding it up
wonder the weight limit on this one too.

No Guard rails - wood is too thin and I bet
this bed is not sturdy at all.  

Looks great - no guard rails and ladder system
is waiting to be dove off of. 

A Stress Swarm! Coping with Business Issues, Personal Issues, Teenage Issues and Tax Issues

My plate is full.  The cup hath runnith over and is forming a very large pool on the table and cascading on the floor.  I am, in a nutshell - stressed.  I'm almost out of my mind.  To be honest I am not sure what exactly is keeping me together, other than two very common sense things.  Baby Steps and crawl if you must.  I'm serious.  We all learned how to walk that way.  We crawled, then took baby steps and if our walking was not fast enough to get that cookie, we crawled like Dale Earnhardt in record time.  The results were the same - we got there and we got that cookie.

I am not exactly sure if it is season or that we have found a marketing plan that actually works.  But me and my little company are very busy.  So busy in fact that I am backlogged and behind on orders.  The orders have not stopped coming in.  We have also been recognized and are nominated for an award (I am very proud of this, by the way).  I have hired an assistant to help out in the shop with sanding.  I had to rent another space to use as a staining/painting and assembly room.  So giving all this added expense, I did not get paid one penny for my 340+ hours worked in the month of March.  But hey, it's a little dip in the road to success.  This I know.  

My gorgeous teeny girls are apparently lined up with the insanity planets or something, because the teenage angst of your typical girl, has gone from normal level to well, insane!  I can't even look at them without them giving me attitude or seeing tears.  Wow - was I ever that bad?  I am trying my best to tell them, rub dirt in it, chin up, boobs out, walk on and get on with it.  They aren't listening.  I have been told I don't understand, will never understand and just don't get it.  That's the same thing as not understanding, by the way.  If looks could kill, I'd be dead at least a 1000 times by now.  So I put them to work during spring break to keep their minds off of whatever insanity was lurking there - um, the sacrifices us parents have to make to our own mental health to make sure our kids are alright can be very painful.   But hey, at least they got paid.  Maybe I can talk them into taking me out for a dinner. 

On top of all of this and the deepening tax bill that is ahead, we started having Earthquakes.  Not really big ones and no I am not scared, but it's turning into an Earthquake Swarm.  As of today, 233 since Friday evening when we had the big one.  A whopping 5.1.  Please, I am more shocked at my neighbors response than I am about anything else.  We live about 2 miles from the epicenters.  He is a native Californian.  I'm just along for the ride.  But again, it's a little worry behind everything else.  What if all my wood falls over?  

I had one customer ask me "When was your last day off?"  I actually had to think about that.  I think it was the day after New Years.  A full day that is.  I take a morning or an afternoon when I can.  I went out to lunch with a friend on Saturday before going into the shop and then took off early on Sunday (I left at 6pm) and enjoyed watching a few episodes of the Killing Season 3 on Netflix.  So a full day off, no can't recall what that feels like.  Little chunks of time to myself, I don't have those.  2 hour naps, I really miss those, ALOT.  So when i am reading about other Mom the Builders and Mom-prenuers - and they talk about down time.  I really want to call them and ask them, what down time are we talking about here?  Your brain never ever switches off.  If you are not physically building something, you are on the computer researching something else,  making to do lists, on a delivery, networking, on the phone, researching, pricing out options, writing blogs, you get the gist.  Working for yourself is not 9 to 5 it is 24/7.  It is who you are.  Stress is just one part of it.

My Mallet - aka - Bone Crusher

One of my favorite tools in my shop is also one of my most hated.  My mallet.  I use it for so many things, it's the most versatile hand tool I have.  I'm talking hand tools here.  The mallet serves as a hammer, a mallet (duh!), a plugger hammering in thing-a-jigger, a weapon of mass destruction, a gavel while arguing with my help (my kids) and I even use it for stretching the shoulders and upper back.  In fact, scary thought - I have been known to accidentally put it in my purse and carry it around with me (unknowing of course).

Right Foot broken toes

left foot broken toe

I have two mallets.  One is shinny and new and never ever used and there is the "Bone Crusher" or as I refer to it as the "Toe Smasher".  It has earned this name in July of 2013 when i accidentally dropped it on my big toe on my right foot.  I broke my toe.  Then in August of the same year, I did the same thing to my left foots big toe.  That one broke too.  Have you ever had a broken toe? Other than taping it to it's neighbor there is nothing that can be done.  You hobble along and go on with your business.  Thankfully I broke the phalanges and not the knuckles of them both - so the hobbling was at best a cute shuffle.  The worst part of it all was not being able to get a pedicure because of the healing.  I had to keep them as straight as possible.

Broken Thumb

Broken thumb

Then on December 23rd during the Christmas rush of getting all the bunk beds ready for deliveries for Christmas Eve I smashed my left thumb.  What a royal job I did too.  I was separating a top bunk from a bottom bunk - because I build them tight, I had to use the mallet to get that extra umph.  Sledging away I was beating the block and wham, full force right on my thumb.  Looking back it may have been better to use a clamp to keep the block there, lesson learned.  But for that time after working a 9 hour shift already, I didn't have that hindsight.  I threw the mallet across the room, my face and thumb felt like it was going to explode, I drooled, I couldn't breath - it hurt so bad. Then the breath came, and I cried and screamed like a girl.  I am a girl so I will not apologize for that.  After 10 minutes of sniffling and realizing my thumb was indeed broken and numb.  I put some duct tape on it and finished the bed i was working on and another one.  I finally went to bed 5 hours later.

The next morning however, my thumb was obviously swollen, very hot and the pressure I felt was unreal.  I felt as if the skin was going to tear at any moment.  I was hoping that binding it would work, but I knew I needed to have it drained.  So unlike my toes, I had no choice but to visit the ER.  They burred an nice hole in the nail and let it drain.  That day's work went so smoothly because the entire thing was actually numb and I couldn't feel anything.  Just a little medical tape on the knuckle to prevent it from bending and I was good to go.

3 months healed

Again, in hindsight I really should have gone to the orthopedic.  Here it is in March (3 full months later) and although all is healed per say, I still have no feeling in the tip of my thumb.  I still can't press my truck's key fob buttons with that thumb.  When I do, I can't feel my thumb tip on the button, but this shooting pain goes from just under the nail to the base of the knuckle when I press. So I have some damage there somewhere.  But it is usable and I have no issues in using the pad of the thumb for anything.

Since I'm a firm believer in rubbing dirt in the "owies" anyway or repairing a good cut with super glue (Do not use gorilla glue - you will have a little bump in there forever) I am happy with the outcome.  One thing I am really happy with though, having broken both my big toes, I now have to routinely go in for pedicures to help with the nails growing properly.  Ahem..I'll take that punishment any day! I gave up on having nice finger nails a long time ago, but I love pretty toes.

Lincoln Logs & Sloppy Joe's

Cabinet/pantry Circa 1934

Remember when you were a kid and you played with Lincoln Logs?  Making a log cabin, with those window cut outs and a roof - you would day dream of it actually being your house one day. Maybe if you were lucky enough you had sloppy joe's for dinner, needing that bib that was obviously needed while eating but afraid to wear one in case you looked like a baby?

Believe it or not, those two famous things have another meaning in adulthood in reference to furniture.  Lincoln Log Furniture and Sloppy Joe furniture are also names that was once thought of as cheap but sturdy furniture.

Simple Benches

Child's Bed - everything is reclaimed

Sloppy Joe Furniture were geared towards very low class and usually made out of salvaged and reclaimed wood and sold at a small profit or was made for personal use.  You have seen pictures of tables, chairs, benches etc during the depression.  Nothing went to waste and if it wasn't burned for heat, it was reused.  This was called Sloppy Joe Furniture.  Among the social classes, obviously if you had this furniture, this meant you were at the bottom of the ladder - income wise.  Art-Deco was left to the upper middle class.

Lincoln Log Build / Simple but stylish

Jump up to 2014 and what furniture is popular?  Sloppy Joe.  Customers are paying a hefty premium of salvaged wood and reclaimed items.  The only difference between then and now, it was made of necessity back then and today, the Lincoln Log build takes over with a huge heaping spoonful  of Sloppy Joe.

Lincoln Log building - is not a nice term either when used by a master carpenter.  The idea behind the name calling is that anyone can build with Lincoln logs.  Seriously, everyone has played with them, you stack them and make something.  So compared to inlay's, joinery, curves and carvings and angle cuts and wooden masterpieces, stacking wood and making it work is a bit derogatory to a highly skilled carpenter and finisher.   But there in then lies the difference of style, function, knowledge and the whole sloppy joe effect.    Lincoln Log furniture is built by those that know what they are doing and sloppy joe furniture was built out of necessity and repaired many times over.

Combine the two styles and you have the current furniture trend.  What I find ironic is the complete swing in favor of the sloppy joe style.  The sloppy joe pieces were not meant to last over time and were considered the low of the lowest in decor - they were built with the idea of them breaking.  Today however, with all the press-board and MDF furniture and veneer (every store sells them from cheap to expensive) the good old fashioned solid real wood, even though considered sloppy joe still outlasts most of the furniture built and manufactured today.  In today's market and furniture trends (not much has changed by the way) - you are supposed to change out your furniture every 5 years or so.  That is what bigger box stores are wanting you to do, therefore nothing is built to last.

So who is the real Sloppy Joe here - a carpenter who builds simple furniture at affordable prices that will last a life time or an assembly line, packaging press-board and odd shaped screws with directions that aren't in English?  But as always, things change and the market is slowly but surely realizing that the words "cheap" and "quality" don't go in the same sentence in describing furniture. Customers are seeking out hand made Lincoln Log built items that can be described as "affordable" and "quality" in the same sentence.  Especially when it is built locally.

Espresso - good for the soul, not good for wood -well not the kind you are used to anyway.

http://www.target.com/p/staten-furniture-collection/-/A-13717178#prodSlot=medium_1_1

A great example of the Espresso that apparently is all the rage and very popular.  But this is not real wood.  It is a Veneer.

Veneer;

1. A thin surface layer, as of finely grained wood, glued to a base of inferior material.
2. Any of the thin layers glued together to make plywood.
3. A decorative facing, as of brick.
4. A deceptive, superficial show; a façade: a veneer of friendliness.

 Veneer is the equivalent of a Formica or laminate counter surface, only thinner,  much thinner.  Imagine Paper Mache and that little crafty session you had with your kids and the balloon - that is exactly what veneer is.  Only used with larger pieces, stronger glue and harmful chemical hardeners.


Can you make real wood look like the Espresso veneer?  Yes, sort of.

There is more involved than one coat of stain.   It takes a a few different colors and a simple little wire brush.  A dark brown is put on first, let that dry and then an even darker brown or a brown/black is put on over the dry 1st coat.  While the 2nd coat is wet, you brush it down with the wire brush.  The result is very very similar to the veneer.  You have to have a steady hand for brush strokes or it will end up looking like Edvard Munch's The Scream - which might be cool in of self. Very Artsy.

Basically you can achieve many different types of looks with this technique - like the little engraving art kits we buy our kids.  Numerous combinations, numerous design ideas  - just let your imagination go wild.

Just take a very dark opaque stain (waterstain's work best) and go over what you did on the wood and then you can brush, scratch, scrape, or engrave what you want and the bottom color rises to the surface really well. Make sure you do small areas first until you are sure to of the drying time for that second coat.  Nothing like doing the entire table top and by the time you make it to the last corner - it's already dry.  On that note, some of the water-stains dry really fast.  Basically it is the equivalent of tempera paints for kids, only for wood.  So seriously keep that in mind when using this technique. 

This is a sample that I have done for a few customers on my version of the infamous Espresso Veneer.  I aptly call this  - Espresso, real Espresso.  And why shouldn't I, I drink enough of the get up and giddy go nectar in fact I am craving a Vietnamese coffee at the moment.  I think I'll make one.   

Furniture; Chili Peppers vs Wood

Odd title, isn't it?  There is some relation though.  Both peppers and wood are rated on a scale, meaning the higher up on the ratings the more potent.  Obviously the Scoville_scale is for peppers of all kinds, both delicious and those that are used in combat warfare.  Not sure I would ever want to try something rated over a million for the fun of it - it sounds very painful to be honest.  I'll stick with my love of Jalapenos and all the goodies that go well with it.

Wood however is also on a scale, the Janka_Scale.  Again the higher the score, the harder it is.  It is based on the amount of pressure it takes for a small steel or metal ball to be inserted into the wood.  Pretty scientific, considering shooting a BB gun at wood is never a safe thing (ricochet and all) - so I'll rely on the scale.  It's very interesting to find out which woods are very hard and which woods are very soft.  I bet a few would even surprise you.

The largest misconception is that Pine is soft.  Well technically it is (more on that confusion below).    Most people associate pine as in there is only one pine - that commonly thought of wood is actually called white pine.  White Pine was used as flooring, furniture, paneling and anything else back in the day.  It gained popularity because of it's abundance on the East Coast during the colonial era to modern day.  White pine is pretty much found everywhere in the U.S..  Pretty sure even Florida grows it.  Because it was so widely used in many types of furniture people associate this particular soft pine - as being the only pine available.  Go to your Home Depot or Lowe's and the narrower thinner strips of wood are white wood, aka, white pine.  Put your finger nail on it and press - do you see the indentation?  Horrifying isn't it?  Imagine spending $1,000 on a lovely dining room set from Ashley Furniture and the first time the kids do homework on it - you can see the homework mistakes they make indented into the wood.  Their and they're used in the wrong places are forever ghosted on my table - till i got rid of it.   Therefore - because the market was flooded with white pine, most people automatically think this is the only pine available and used in furniture. 

Maybe you have heard of Soft woods?  Yes pine is considered a soft wood, and trust me the reputation that the white wood has as being actually soft really makes sense as why it's called a soft wood.  I bet you have heard of hard woods?  Oak is a hardwood so is Alder wood.  But do you know the difference between what makes a wood considered hardwood or softwood?  Hardwoods come from trees that have leaves, deciduous - they fall off in autumn, pretty colors and all that glory.  Softwoods come from trees that have needles - both those that fall off and those that stay all winter long - Christmas Trees, majestic trees.

Did you know that some "hardwoods" are actually softer than some "softwoods"?  

Making our solid wood beds, our choice of wood is Fir.  Small simple name from a huge tree that has federal and Eco guidelines and protocols for the lumber industry.  Yes your government is on top of it when it comes to planting, cutting and replanting trees.  Especially when it comes to the most common lumber type in the United States.  Fir is a  +Eco-Friendly  sustainable wood, meaning the lumber industry cuts one section, tills and replants that section with fast growing fir and then moves on to another section a ways away.  Basically every tree that is cut is also replanted.  

Fir is actually a very hard and durable wood compared to some hardwoods.  Look at the Janka Scale. 

It is harder than Alder wood which is currently the favorite wood chosen by the furniture industry.  Most kitchen cabinets are made of Alder wood.  Fir is also harder than Chestnut - which we all know to be a beautiful grained wood and is considered very expensive.  Fir however is not as hard as oak.  Fir is rated a 660 - which considering Maple is at a 700 - um, I'm thinking that's really good since Maple is also a common wood used in furniture. 

Fir however, also has a bad rep for those that are not knowledgeable with in the wood world.  It is commonly used as lumber for construction.  Why not, it's hard, durable, lasts forever and is good against pests and mold.  It's perfect to build your house with - behind those walls of your house are studs made of fir and those studs hold up your roof, which is also made with fir. 

So next time you want to purchase a bunk bed for your kids to sleep on or a bed for yourself, ask what type of solid wood (ply with veneer is a whole other gripe in my +Woodworking Network industry).  Would you rather it be built with the same wood that leaves your kids homework indentations on the surface or something that your house is built with?  Many furniture makers make furniture out of the white pine and white wood because it's cheap, it looks great and can be used in any format.  Those pieces will not last over time - especially on weight and structure bearing beams.  Please be careful when ordering or shopping with your local artisans.  Ask.  Then find out if the structure is made of something else and then faced with white wood - that is a different build all together.  

Here at Backwood Beds we use fir for everything.  That means that I plane down to the sizes that i need.  I don't go and buy a white wood piece because it fits or looks better - I form my fir wood to what I need it to do.  It's hard, sturdy, rigid and very durable.  

So next time you are looking for some salsa or hot sauce - ask yourself just how "hot" is my wood?  (Now that's a funny question, right there!)