Bunk Beds and the slip through portal theory

Found this online and it's perfect for this blog's description. 

We've all seen them on AMFV, or You Tube of bunk beds breaking when someone gets on them - scary.  I'm just hoping those were cheaply made and or seriously old for that to happen.  But there is also a hidden danger in Bunks that most parents don't care to find out or don't know that it even exists.  Openings.  Spaces.  The portholes of the bunks beyond.  Bad rendition of a kids movie line.  

Our Standard line - $395 as shown

There are codes that bunk manufacturers have to abide by.  There is a magic number that the opening space can not be any wider than or less then.  There are also magic numbers per square inch for weight.  I won't talk about those because I don't build anything out of 3/4" press board covered in veneer.  Seriously, no one should ever buy a bunk that is made of wood that is less than in inch in thickness anyway - unless it's made out of Brazilian or Purple Heart Mahogany and if you can afford that, you might as well purchase that very big diamond or 300" TV for yourself.  

Custom made (Finish and build)

Our twin/full mission style $800.00 as shown

On to those numbers.  I am not telling you.  But I can say this.  The codes are worse to read than any tax instructional booklet from the IRS.  The opening space can't be any more than this but has to be less than this and no wider than this unless it is smaller than this.  (paraphrasing)  After having it translated into a basic and common language most people can understand - we have been building our bunks the same way since the get go.  The rule of thumb is this.  The spacing should not be big enough to get a normal childs head through - this also means a leg.  If the space can fit such an appendage - there better be enough room to get a normal childs entire body through.  Most people use the normal measurements based on their own child.  We go smaller - based on a toddler.  The government provides the common sense measurements (which sometimes don't make any sense) and are based on things that have happened.  That is why there are so many recalls on children's furniture.  Anything and everything eventually does happen and therefore they change things up a little to prevent it again.  For example guard rails.  You should never ever buy a bunk that doesn't have them.  They are the probably the first thing the government made mandatory.  They are there to prevent whomever is sleeping on top from rolling out of bed while sleeping.  No amount of guard rails can prevent anyone from falling off a bunk if they are using the top bunk as a freebasing jumping platform, or as a trampoline or if the child decides that he or she can swing on the ceiling fan blades.  Why would you have a ceiling fan so close the top bunk anyway - that's an ER visit waiting to happen!!!!  Think of helicopter rotors slashing along the forehead.  This is also why the government says no one under the age of 5 should sleep on top. Some kids don't think of danger.    As a mom myself, I know that one of my kids didn't know what danger was till much later.  Every child is different though and so the government chose the magic number of 5 years old for top bunk usage.  Just because it says 5, you should know your own child well enough to know if it will work.  This is another reason why I refuse to build toddler bunk beds.  No matter how much of an angel your child is, anything and everything usually does happen.  That and Toddler bunks are very top heavy, narrow and if you have one..please I beg you to anchor it to the wall. 

Plank loft with two desks and single frame bed.
Two rooms of Furniture in this one ensemble.  

I have seen some local builders advertising on Craigslist in many different states that charge around the same as we do and what they build is A).  Non compliant and B).  An accident waiting to happen and C). I wouldn't put my Chihuahua on the top bunk.   Here is a good rule of thumb that is based on common sense when shopping for a bunk bed for your kids.  If YOU (not your kid) can comfortably climb up, flop into bed and you feel confident - buy it.  If you are slightly worried it can't hold your weight - don't buy it.  All bunks and lofts have a little bit of wobble.  If the frame wobbles more than 1/4 inch or give either way - walk away.  Look at the weight limits on store bought bunks.  Most of them say 160 lbs on the top bunk.  How much does your child weigh?  How much does your childs mattress weigh?  How much does the flat support weigh? Subtract all of that from 160lbs and that is how much you can allow your child to grow before you have to purchase a whole new bed.  

The bolts and or screws;  This is what pisses me off the most.  I guess the government is waiting for some sort of bunk bed Apocalypse.  If you have a bunk that is held together with common screws - burn it.  Take it down and burn it.  If you have a bunk that is held together with thicker screws that are angled in and hidden (Pocket's)- burn those.  If you have  a bunk that is held together by bolted ratchet system that is on the inside of the bed rail, burn those - although all of these are allowed, they are all very dangerous.  You need to have access to your fastenings because over time they will need to be tightened.  If you see a bunk that is held together with the old fashioned hook and eye system....seriously burn that one too. Are you going to trust something 6 foot in the air to hold up you up if the only thing holding you up are a few hooks?  Why would you want your child up there?  Would you trust yourself hanging from a ceiling on a swing with those hooks or screws or hidden pocket screws.  I know I wouldn't.

A lot of people think that to have a very sturdy and well built bunk that it has to made out of huge dimensional pieces of wood and very expensive - this is not true.   It can be I suppose if you are going for that look and like to waste money.  But a good quality affordable and sturdy bunk bed can be made to look sleek, rustic, modern and can be very beautiful.  There are tons of us woodworkers that do great jobs in making these - we take the time to learn and figure out the compliance codes -they we make them to code.   Then there are tons of wood workers that want to make money and don't think about how the build will be in a few months of use - so you might as well have paid for firewood.  Below are some great examples of bunks that are not compliant.  I pulled these off of the internet - can you point out how they are not compliant - notice some of them are all over the internet (viral) because they look great - but sadly, in my experience would end up being death traps or at least contribute to a good concussion and or broken bones.

No Guard Rails or ladder system and top heavy. (It will tip).
Accident waiting to happen on this one.  

No enough guard rails - one post? Wow!
Whats the weight limit on this one I wonder?

No Guard Rails (looks great) - 2 posts holding it up
wonder the weight limit on this one too.

No Guard rails - wood is too thin and I bet
this bed is not sturdy at all.  

Looks great - no guard rails and ladder system
is waiting to be dove off of.