Bunk Beds and the slip through portal theory

Found this online and it's perfect for this blog's description. 

We've all seen them on AMFV, or You Tube of bunk beds breaking when someone gets on them - scary.  I'm just hoping those were cheaply made and or seriously old for that to happen.  But there is also a hidden danger in Bunks that most parents don't care to find out or don't know that it even exists.  Openings.  Spaces.  The portholes of the bunks beyond.  Bad rendition of a kids movie line.  

Our Standard line - $395 as shown

There are codes that bunk manufacturers have to abide by.  There is a magic number that the opening space can not be any wider than or less then.  There are also magic numbers per square inch for weight.  I won't talk about those because I don't build anything out of 3/4" press board covered in veneer.  Seriously, no one should ever buy a bunk that is made of wood that is less than in inch in thickness anyway - unless it's made out of Brazilian or Purple Heart Mahogany and if you can afford that, you might as well purchase that very big diamond or 300" TV for yourself.  

Custom made (Finish and build)

Our twin/full mission style $800.00 as shown

On to those numbers.  I am not telling you.  But I can say this.  The codes are worse to read than any tax instructional booklet from the IRS.  The opening space can't be any more than this but has to be less than this and no wider than this unless it is smaller than this.  (paraphrasing)  After having it translated into a basic and common language most people can understand - we have been building our bunks the same way since the get go.  The rule of thumb is this.  The spacing should not be big enough to get a normal childs head through - this also means a leg.  If the space can fit such an appendage - there better be enough room to get a normal childs entire body through.  Most people use the normal measurements based on their own child.  We go smaller - based on a toddler.  The government provides the common sense measurements (which sometimes don't make any sense) and are based on things that have happened.  That is why there are so many recalls on children's furniture.  Anything and everything eventually does happen and therefore they change things up a little to prevent it again.  For example guard rails.  You should never ever buy a bunk that doesn't have them.  They are the probably the first thing the government made mandatory.  They are there to prevent whomever is sleeping on top from rolling out of bed while sleeping.  No amount of guard rails can prevent anyone from falling off a bunk if they are using the top bunk as a freebasing jumping platform, or as a trampoline or if the child decides that he or she can swing on the ceiling fan blades.  Why would you have a ceiling fan so close the top bunk anyway - that's an ER visit waiting to happen!!!!  Think of helicopter rotors slashing along the forehead.  This is also why the government says no one under the age of 5 should sleep on top. Some kids don't think of danger.    As a mom myself, I know that one of my kids didn't know what danger was till much later.  Every child is different though and so the government chose the magic number of 5 years old for top bunk usage.  Just because it says 5, you should know your own child well enough to know if it will work.  This is another reason why I refuse to build toddler bunk beds.  No matter how much of an angel your child is, anything and everything usually does happen.  That and Toddler bunks are very top heavy, narrow and if you have one..please I beg you to anchor it to the wall. 

Plank loft with two desks and single frame bed.
Two rooms of Furniture in this one ensemble.  

I have seen some local builders advertising on Craigslist in many different states that charge around the same as we do and what they build is A).  Non compliant and B).  An accident waiting to happen and C). I wouldn't put my Chihuahua on the top bunk.   Here is a good rule of thumb that is based on common sense when shopping for a bunk bed for your kids.  If YOU (not your kid) can comfortably climb up, flop into bed and you feel confident - buy it.  If you are slightly worried it can't hold your weight - don't buy it.  All bunks and lofts have a little bit of wobble.  If the frame wobbles more than 1/4 inch or give either way - walk away.  Look at the weight limits on store bought bunks.  Most of them say 160 lbs on the top bunk.  How much does your child weigh?  How much does your childs mattress weigh?  How much does the flat support weigh? Subtract all of that from 160lbs and that is how much you can allow your child to grow before you have to purchase a whole new bed.  

The bolts and or screws;  This is what pisses me off the most.  I guess the government is waiting for some sort of bunk bed Apocalypse.  If you have a bunk that is held together with common screws - burn it.  Take it down and burn it.  If you have a bunk that is held together with thicker screws that are angled in and hidden (Pocket's)- burn those.  If you have  a bunk that is held together by bolted ratchet system that is on the inside of the bed rail, burn those - although all of these are allowed, they are all very dangerous.  You need to have access to your fastenings because over time they will need to be tightened.  If you see a bunk that is held together with the old fashioned hook and eye system....seriously burn that one too. Are you going to trust something 6 foot in the air to hold up you up if the only thing holding you up are a few hooks?  Why would you want your child up there?  Would you trust yourself hanging from a ceiling on a swing with those hooks or screws or hidden pocket screws.  I know I wouldn't.

A lot of people think that to have a very sturdy and well built bunk that it has to made out of huge dimensional pieces of wood and very expensive - this is not true.   It can be I suppose if you are going for that look and like to waste money.  But a good quality affordable and sturdy bunk bed can be made to look sleek, rustic, modern and can be very beautiful.  There are tons of us woodworkers that do great jobs in making these - we take the time to learn and figure out the compliance codes -they we make them to code.   Then there are tons of wood workers that want to make money and don't think about how the build will be in a few months of use - so you might as well have paid for firewood.  Below are some great examples of bunks that are not compliant.  I pulled these off of the internet - can you point out how they are not compliant - notice some of them are all over the internet (viral) because they look great - but sadly, in my experience would end up being death traps or at least contribute to a good concussion and or broken bones.

No Guard Rails or ladder system and top heavy. (It will tip).
Accident waiting to happen on this one.  

No enough guard rails - one post? Wow!
Whats the weight limit on this one I wonder?

No Guard Rails (looks great) - 2 posts holding it up
wonder the weight limit on this one too.

No Guard rails - wood is too thin and I bet
this bed is not sturdy at all.  

Looks great - no guard rails and ladder system
is waiting to be dove off of. 

Lincoln Logs & Sloppy Joe's

Cabinet/pantry Circa 1934

Remember when you were a kid and you played with Lincoln Logs?  Making a log cabin, with those window cut outs and a roof - you would day dream of it actually being your house one day. Maybe if you were lucky enough you had sloppy joe's for dinner, needing that bib that was obviously needed while eating but afraid to wear one in case you looked like a baby?

Believe it or not, those two famous things have another meaning in adulthood in reference to furniture.  Lincoln Log Furniture and Sloppy Joe furniture are also names that was once thought of as cheap but sturdy furniture.

Simple Benches

Child's Bed - everything is reclaimed

Sloppy Joe Furniture were geared towards very low class and usually made out of salvaged and reclaimed wood and sold at a small profit or was made for personal use.  You have seen pictures of tables, chairs, benches etc during the depression.  Nothing went to waste and if it wasn't burned for heat, it was reused.  This was called Sloppy Joe Furniture.  Among the social classes, obviously if you had this furniture, this meant you were at the bottom of the ladder - income wise.  Art-Deco was left to the upper middle class.

Lincoln Log Build / Simple but stylish

Jump up to 2014 and what furniture is popular?  Sloppy Joe.  Customers are paying a hefty premium of salvaged wood and reclaimed items.  The only difference between then and now, it was made of necessity back then and today, the Lincoln Log build takes over with a huge heaping spoonful  of Sloppy Joe.

Lincoln Log building - is not a nice term either when used by a master carpenter.  The idea behind the name calling is that anyone can build with Lincoln logs.  Seriously, everyone has played with them, you stack them and make something.  So compared to inlay's, joinery, curves and carvings and angle cuts and wooden masterpieces, stacking wood and making it work is a bit derogatory to a highly skilled carpenter and finisher.   But there in then lies the difference of style, function, knowledge and the whole sloppy joe effect.    Lincoln Log furniture is built by those that know what they are doing and sloppy joe furniture was built out of necessity and repaired many times over.

Combine the two styles and you have the current furniture trend.  What I find ironic is the complete swing in favor of the sloppy joe style.  The sloppy joe pieces were not meant to last over time and were considered the low of the lowest in decor - they were built with the idea of them breaking.  Today however, with all the press-board and MDF furniture and veneer (every store sells them from cheap to expensive) the good old fashioned solid real wood, even though considered sloppy joe still outlasts most of the furniture built and manufactured today.  In today's market and furniture trends (not much has changed by the way) - you are supposed to change out your furniture every 5 years or so.  That is what bigger box stores are wanting you to do, therefore nothing is built to last.

So who is the real Sloppy Joe here - a carpenter who builds simple furniture at affordable prices that will last a life time or an assembly line, packaging press-board and odd shaped screws with directions that aren't in English?  But as always, things change and the market is slowly but surely realizing that the words "cheap" and "quality" don't go in the same sentence in describing furniture. Customers are seeking out hand made Lincoln Log built items that can be described as "affordable" and "quality" in the same sentence.  Especially when it is built locally.

Bubby - Backwood Beds official littlest mascot

For those of you who follow me on Instagram and on Twitter - I occasionally post pictures of a little squirrel that I have named Bubby.  Bubby is our pretend squirrel pet, shop mascot and all out party animal.  He has a mixture of my personality and that of a wild animal - which isn't too far off of my own personality.  He is nerdy, quirky and sometimes just down right weird.  Yes, not far off my own personality at all. Bubby will making an appearance now and then - displaying all his talents and glory.  Sometimes he will show his true colors and other times we usually catch him doing strange things.

 We first introduced Bubby on Valentines Day, where he was shy and had a little stage freight.  Since his debut, he is gaining more confidence and wants to display his talents (he thinks he is talented) for all to see.

We wanted to get a "real" Bubby for a pet, as I personally feel that squirrels are the cutest form of a rat that lives in a tree, but it is illegal to own a pet squirrel in California.  So we have the next best thing - a virtual pet.  That and squirrels are very entertaining.

Here is a link to a squirrel rescue here in So. Cal that does some amazing work with the little guys and gals they find or are brought in - usually they are orphans and hurt squirrels that need a little medical help to get back up in the tree again.

So follow us on Intsagram and Twitter - for the occasional Bubby funny meme, you will also get updates on projects, tips on wood and techniques, pictures of prototype beds and the daily life in a small family owned and run business.

Espresso - good for the soul, not good for wood -well not the kind you are used to anyway.

http://www.target.com/p/staten-furniture-collection/-/A-13717178#prodSlot=medium_1_1

A great example of the Espresso that apparently is all the rage and very popular.  But this is not real wood.  It is a Veneer.

Veneer;

1. A thin surface layer, as of finely grained wood, glued to a base of inferior material.
2. Any of the thin layers glued together to make plywood.
3. A decorative facing, as of brick.
4. A deceptive, superficial show; a façade: a veneer of friendliness.

 Veneer is the equivalent of a Formica or laminate counter surface, only thinner,  much thinner.  Imagine Paper Mache and that little crafty session you had with your kids and the balloon - that is exactly what veneer is.  Only used with larger pieces, stronger glue and harmful chemical hardeners.


Can you make real wood look like the Espresso veneer?  Yes, sort of.

There is more involved than one coat of stain.   It takes a a few different colors and a simple little wire brush.  A dark brown is put on first, let that dry and then an even darker brown or a brown/black is put on over the dry 1st coat.  While the 2nd coat is wet, you brush it down with the wire brush.  The result is very very similar to the veneer.  You have to have a steady hand for brush strokes or it will end up looking like Edvard Munch's The Scream - which might be cool in of self. Very Artsy.

Basically you can achieve many different types of looks with this technique - like the little engraving art kits we buy our kids.  Numerous combinations, numerous design ideas  - just let your imagination go wild.

Just take a very dark opaque stain (waterstain's work best) and go over what you did on the wood and then you can brush, scratch, scrape, or engrave what you want and the bottom color rises to the surface really well. Make sure you do small areas first until you are sure to of the drying time for that second coat.  Nothing like doing the entire table top and by the time you make it to the last corner - it's already dry.  On that note, some of the water-stains dry really fast.  Basically it is the equivalent of tempera paints for kids, only for wood.  So seriously keep that in mind when using this technique. 

This is a sample that I have done for a few customers on my version of the infamous Espresso Veneer.  I aptly call this  - Espresso, real Espresso.  And why shouldn't I, I drink enough of the get up and giddy go nectar in fact I am craving a Vietnamese coffee at the moment.  I think I'll make one.   

The (Superficial) Namedropping Game - You're Such a Poser!

Namedropping is a common practice in many different fields.  There is no doubt that it can benefit the products sales, designers pocket and ultimately the bottom line. When it comes to a small business however, I personally feel it makes that brand or that company look very desperate for recognition for something that may not be there. Making you look better than you are, sort of.

Name-dropping is defined as –

The studied but seemingly casual mention

 of prominent persons as associates done to impress others - Merriam Webster

Me for example - I do not boast, brag or namedrop.  Regardless of just how "big" the person is. Trust me, living and working the Los Angeles area, I have made beds for small time and big time actors, musicians, comedians, designers and directors all the way up to the "oober goober" award winning celebrities.  I have met each and every one of them. I have been in their homes.  I have made beds for their kids.  I have let their kids help build the bed when we deliver it.  (The kids really like pulling the trigger on the drill). These customers invited me into their homes and guess what, they like to live a normal life and honestly, they REALLY are down to earth.   Ironically - I just tooted my own horn in this paragraph, didn't I. Oops, my bad.

Poser is explained as - 

is one who poses or habitually pretends to be something they are not. 

Maybe it is my own personal code that I have, I am not sure.  Maybe it is because I was raised by a "celebrity of sorts" and understood real fast, those friends that wanted to be my friend for notoriety and those that were real friends.  Trust me, when you are 13 and think you are all that, your world comes crashing down when you realize the only reason you were invited to a party was to please your parents.  This does no do good for the confidence or for your soul at all.   But after salvaging what self respect that I had - I learned and vowed that I wouldn't do the same thing to others - no matter my gain from it.  It's using people. It is wrong and I personally feel it makes you look, simply put, like a pompous ass.

My little don't namedrop policy - has actually gained me more business.  Seriously, I would rather have a customer come to me because I was recommended to them (within their own little circle) than have someone come to me to be able to purchase exactly what so and so has in their bedroom - that's just creepy.  All my customers, when I first talk to them are treated the same - I have no idea who this person is.  Sometimes the emails don't even ring a bell - but when I meet them, each and every customer (oober goober or your local janitor) gets the same handshake and same "it's a pleasure to meet you, where are we bringing your bed?".  It is an unspoken code between my customers and myself - I don't know who they are (and sometimes I do) and they know I won't say anything at all to other people or tag them in on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook with pics of the beds. That's just rude and presumptuous - if they want to tag me in to their own tweets and posts, though - I welcome that.  But I will never ask for, or expect it.

What I find entertaining - is that some of my pictures on my website are from the "celebrities" houses.  Like Andy Kaufman, sometimes I am the only one in on a joke.  But hey - I laugh.  Yes that was a namedropping line, but since the late great Mr. Kaufman is supposedly dead, and i was referencing his comedic philosophy - it in no way enhances my beds.  No, I have not met him or sold anything to him.  He is supposedly dead.  That would be creepy if I had and even if I did, I wouldn't tell.

I will say this though - If I ever meet James Hetfield from Metallica or Brian Urlacher, I don't think I would be calm and composed.  All bets are off.  I really think i would revert back to my teen age years and be freakishly excited and scary looking - like my daughter is with her band fav's. (That is a whole other blog post in the making and waiting to be written, "dealing with a teenage girl and her stalking tendencies"). I wouldn't mean to cause them harm, but my big bear hug may be misinterpreted as a tackle.  Urlacher would be ok with that I think, I hope.